A couple of weeks ago, my wife, Avara, told me about the challenges she was having in facing her biggest demon (aka the coagulated thoughtform that was preventing her from receiving). Avara’s biggest demon is the demon of disappointment. “This one is dogging me!” she exclaimed at one point. I knew what she meant. I, too, at times, felt like this same demon was dogging me! The way this showed up in our lives was a feeling (a low level vibration constantly in the background) of never fulfilling our dreams, falling short of the mark.Avara had been doing inner work with her demons for a few months. Her good friend (and powerful healer) Lee Showerman had given her the book, “Feeding Your Demons, ancient wisdom for resolving inner conflict”, by Tsultrim Allione. This inner work, combined with Avara’s new passion for a vegan raw food diet, had made a dramatic effect on Avara’s being. She is becoming more full of light day by day...cleaning out the old and allowing in the new. I am a beneficiary of this expanded way of living from the passion, creativity, and excellence in which Avara took on this latest phase in her, and now my, evolution.
This past Thursday night, May 21st around 11:30 pm, we were lying in bed and Avara said she was feeling tightness and discomfort in her back and upper arms. Independently we both had the thought that these were possible signals of a heart attack but did not give voice to those thoughts. Nevertheless, we both knew that this was something that Avara had never felt before.
The next day on Friday May 22nd Avara spent the day cleaning, gardening, and food preparing for Shabbat. During the day Avara was listening to music and spiritual teachings while surrounded by nature in the midst of its spring song and celebration. She later told me that she had again felt tightness in her body on two occasions.
After our shabbat dinner guests arrived, Avara gave them a tour of her large new organic garden. As we were about to begin shabbat, Avara, who was in our kitchen doing the last salad preparation suddenly fainted. I caught her and saw that she was leaving her body, losing consciousness. Her eyes rolled up and what happened next was like a scene from “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. Her facial features began transforming before my eyes into a scary, grotesque, and powerful entity. I immediately knew that I was face-to-face with her biggest demon who took the form of a bitterly disappointed and resentful old krone. One side of her face completely distorted into a look I would not have thought possible! I eased her onto the floor and we put a pillow under her head. Avara clenched her teeth, made animal groans and curled up her hands and feet in seizure-like fashion. I whispered into her ear, “let it go...it’s not who you are...let it go...”. She had now stopped breathing and began to turn blue. My CPR training had me intuitively announce, “call 9-1-1” and I started doing CPR. As I breathed a few breaths into her, in-between compressions, she began to respond and breathe on her own. The natural color of her face returned and she began to regain consciousness. Not knowing where she was or what had happened I whispered into her ear, “You did it! You let go of your biggest demon, it left your body!”. I stayed with her on our kitchen floor until the paramedics arrived. They quickly hooked her up to a heart machine which appeared to show a normal healthy heart. An ambulance arrived next and a bigger machine was brought in to monitor her heartrate. After a few minutes the technician announced that Avara had had a heart attack and that, according to the information at hand, there was a blockage that needed to be removed. He recommended calling for a helicopter airlift to take her to the hospital (we live in a fairly remote place with the nearest hospital about a 40 minute drive) so they could begin operative procedures immediately to open up the blocked area of her heart.
Avara and I both felt that the healing had already taken place but there was no arguing with 6 well trained, and well meaning, paramedics. A helicopter was flown in and Avara was placed on a gurney. She was alert and awake and laughed as I half jokingly announced, “Honey, enjoy every minute of the ride because this is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience!”
When we arrived at the hospital we were greeted by our friend and cardiologist Todd Kotler. Todd had examined Avara’s condition and first remarked on how clean and pristine Avara’s arteries were. He confirmed that she had a heart attack but that the place in her heart where the blockage was was so small and remote that they could not even put in a stint or open it up. Basically, there was no operational procedure they had to fix the “problem”.
Two days later, on Sunday May 24th, the head cardiologist on duty told Avara she was leaving the hospital because she wasn’t sick. In fact, it was his opinion that the event that happened had most likely removed the blockage. He drew a diagram for Avara to show her the exact place on her heart where the blockage was. Avara later learned that this exact spot is called the “heart of hearts” and is known as the “holy of holies”.
Mystical traditions have different names for experiences such as this. In Judaism it is called a “Dybbuk”. This entity may not be a foreign entity that invades our bodies, but an entity of our own human creation! An entity that is created through years of negative beliefs and thoughts. The dark, some say evil, side of human creativity. We are powerful creators and always have the choice through our consciousness to create peace, love, joy, and harmony, or hate, destruction, and disappointment through our fears.
As humans we all have our own demons that we contend with. Are we facing them, or are we allowing them to control our lives and choices? Avara’s demon could no longer inhabit her body temple that was being purified by the light of consciousness. What old beliefs and thoughtforms do we continue to hold onto that creates a blockage to our own divinity?
A heartfelt thank you to all the amazingly wonderful staff at the Rogue Valley Medical Center in Medford, OR. You are all dedicated and committed to your jobs of helping others and it shows in your love and affection for your patients. Thank you for being!
